Im a 13 year old rapper. so i need some feedback please, im serious with this stuff.

Thread: Im a 13 year old rapper. so i need some feedback please, im serious with this stuff.

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  1. gvr13 said:

    Default Im a 13 year old rapper. so i need some feedback please, im serious with this stuff.

    With my other verses i've posted, i've only gotten like a couple comments/feedback from all the people that have read them. so if you are a member of this site, please comment on the bottom and tell me what you like/dont like about my verse, i would appreciate it!



    Yea you in the game, but you ride the bench
    it needs some fixing, lemme find the wrench
    im the solution to the illusion
    my product's hot but im more like the quotient
    hammer than ham, harder than 'ye and jay on otis
    improvin by the minute,
    i was already the best when i wrote this
    you better quote this, and title it the warning
    and my new girls in the mighty fits are swarming
    too real for the world, your swag is deforming
    i cant tell you how much bullshit i've heard, as i merge
    but im ahead of my time on this path, i can swurve
    the world is out to get us, they wanna be speedbumps
    and laugh it off when we front
    i cant have a fun night out or some ****
    without people making assumptions
    just let me live my life, let me live my life
    my worse work, will be your greatest
    so haters, keep that in your mind before you try to rate this
    i want some damn change, like the homeless man on the corner
    run the game, like the rappers that ran it before us
    im a conformist when it comes to this rap ****,
    i know im much more capable
    wanna make more money than breezy in a day or two
    i cant imagine all the hoes, and all they would do
    call it heaven, even though im no angel
    this is the fast life, and fast dont lie
    derrick rose breakin ankles
    thats a chi town reference, thats where i reign from
    since you cant ever forget where you came from
    supporters saying you better take over the game son
    thanks to the fame, conscious cats cant focus on the real
    its a shame, since their true colors were revealed
    im a man of my word, i'll forever stay real
    always my mindset, even if i get signed to a deal
  2. Jfam said:

    Default

    One thing I pick up on is that in your rap you just told me to take into account the fact that you're already miles better than me before I rate this rap which is a bit of a put off really :L anyway, one thing it's best to learn early is that we don't give a sh*t about your raps if you keep telling us how awesome you are. You'll find the best and most successful rappers like Eminem tend to rap about things we care about and things with some sort of meaning OR if they do spend time talking themselves up, it's usually only done during the first half of the first verse but the rest of the rap has relevance to the listener. Remember, you're entertaining them. Now, about your rap: there are a few good ideas, but I think you need to work on flow, rapping over beats always helps and the rhymings ok as well. Try and use maybe one or two, maybe three different rhyme schemes during your verse, too many rhyme schemes tend to ruin the flow a little. But basically, practise
  3. gvr13 said:

    Default

    i wasnt taken any shots at other emcees, just to let you know. and i appreciate it though, for letting me know what you think. at only 14 years old, what i can rap about from my own life is kind of limited. sometimes the only thing i can come up with at my age is rapping about how i think im better than the ordinary rapper, but trust me this isnt one of my best verses, i've worked on a lot of stuff lately, different verses and i'll post soon. i understand this verse probably wasnt eminem like, like you said, but its all about progression and i think im progressin' as of late. thanks though