F*ck It ^ Think Im qettinq the hand of it now *Still comment for some edits*

Im out of siqht, to decide,
Should I stay or run nd' hide ?
Its more difficult by the time, that I think from my mind,
Tho' Im thinkin' I should put in work on stayinq on my qrind
People will say more bout' that Im wastinq most of my time. . .

Can't they see that Im feelinq suicidal now a'days ?
Talkinq sh*t bout' me is whats' puttinq me in a phase,
Torturinq, in a haze, Can't find my way, its a maze,
Help me please can you hear what Im sayinq ? Let me re-phrase. . .
Umm so iHad a qirl, yea' buh' she act'd like I owe her
Nd' yea, nd' sometimes it felt like I just didnt know her nd' sh*t,
But lately shes been beinq a real wh*re, so I had to let'er' qo'
So you can call me the qore (qoer)

I had a friend, who was really some qood to me,
But jus' last week he was murdered, homocide-ly. . .
I havent' been feelin' qood lately nomore,
Do I belonq to stay ? Nor Should it jus' be over'. . .
Sorry-for the sob story, jus' tryna' express myself,
One day I can shoot myself, with a 44. thats on my-shelf.
Im really thinkin' I should qet a qood shrink,
Really my rhymes are qettin' bad, they're jus' startin' to stink. . .
If you read this far, hopefully you understand,
Theres a problem cominq t'wards this man. . . At hand. . . (At hand)3x

Gettin there...need to stack more multi syllabol lines an try an get more creative with metaphores or cliches...but yea gettin the hang of it. Not bad. Always more to progress on tho.

I Agree Smooththug,took the words right out of my mouth...

I think he just doesn't really get the concept of multi's. I mean, he improves everytime, but still no multi's. Multi's is when you make a whole sentence rhyme instead of just the ending word(s).

See I'm a master in multi's, so lemme try to explain how we play
The faster they insult me, the harder I maintain in this game
So don't let criticism break you, let it make you
Lyricism is a gift, let it awake you

See ? Every word in the same color rhymes with the other word. I also use words that don't rhyme all the way like 'play & game". They just sound the same, so u can use them if u want. I hope it's clear now.

Ah that's great advice with the multis Molotova, a good point well made. but I've got to disagree with your first sentence..
It can't be assumed that he doesn't understand multis just because he doesn't use them. It could be a stylistic choice, and a valid one at that. I can think of some amazing rappers that hardly use rhymes. 'Sole' (formerly of anticon) would be an example of that. rich and deep rap with amazing flow and a lot of internal assonance but not much rhyme.
and I think sometimes the more 'street rap' styles can be most effective with simple rhyme structures. used well it can give an honest/'real' feel to a verse.

Decent work by the way Nostik, keep it up.
I'd recommend trying multi-syllable rhymes and internal rhyming too, but you gotta decide if that's right for your style.

You're right.
Maybe he's just not into multi's at all.
But for me, personally, multi's make or break a rap ...