Where The Quarters Lit Of Green

Thread: Where The Quarters Lit Of Green

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  1. Eccer's Avatar

    Eccer said:

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    Where The Quarters Lit of Green

    "there, was light"

    Feld this knife for the cats
    and the square, dogs roaming
    the sphere at night, absorbed.

    An omit pours the darkness
    leaving, behind the quarters
    lit the animals as they spat
    hypnotized by the green light sat.

    Odd sight, was sighted by even
    more of them gathering
    round the "campfire" so to speak.
    ...whispering of themselves.

    I laid back for a
    monuments witnessing
    this peculiar of sight.
    This strange ominous feel
    and left me wailing as
    them. A wave dashed from
    the circle light
    moaning them at its touch.

    As if each and everyone of them given
    even the dogs fell.
    A powerful
    sensation afflicted, even me then!

    And the ere was left like
    that, which could not be again.

    Feld my knife for this
    night
    without food had me wondering
    what was real
    out here?

    Ah, the brink of cold winters
    brook, self reliance paying its toll
    I guess.
    Might as well look around a little bit more
    if anythings left, there'st I see
    within?

    That I feel something is
    Where the quarters lit the ways
    In!




    Another strange piece by me. I had an idea for this, but then I went all out experimental. So If it makes any sense to you guys, let me know lol.

    Last edited by Eccer; 11-12-2013 at 09:46 AM.
     
  2. Frankie Jasmine's Avatar

    Frankie Jasmine said:

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    Dear Eccer, with two readings, I am not "getting" your poem yet. This has happened to me before, e.g., with dark1979's poem about his boat and the sea. In that case and a couple others . . . I discovered that with repeated readings and contemplation (which pause poetry should give us) the meanings became clear. I believe more will become clear to me with "Where the Quarters Lit of Green"--a fantastic English title, BTW!

    I do understand that you call this a strange piece and experimental. Strange and experimental does not necessarily prohibit meaning. Please give me a little time with this one. There are some unusual turns of phrases I especially like (e.g., "As every of nip grass I might as well tuck around a little bit more if anythings left, there'st I see," and others.) Other pairing of words at first seems nonsensical; but I know your poetry better than that. I beg a little more time for this intriguing poem. Experimentation is a good thing. Afterall, where would we be without the prose and poetry of Lewis Carroll?? And I love "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass and What She Found There"!! Do you??

    "Twas bryllyg, and ye slythy toves
    Did gyre and gymble in ye wabe:
    All mimsy were ye borogoves;
    And ye mome raths outgrabe."

    'It seems very pretty,' she [Alice] said when she had finished it, 'but it's rather hard to understand!'
    (You see she didn't like to confess, even to herself, that she couldn't make it out at all.)
    'Somehow it seems to fill my head with ideas—only I don't exactly know what they are!
    However, somebody killed something: that's clear, at any rate.'


    Tee-hee-hee!!!

    If you do not hear within a few weeks time from me on your poem, please invite me back here!! I wish to re-visit it, hopefully with a more-ready mind!
    Last edited by Frankie Jasmine; 10-02-2013 at 10:31 PM.
     
  3. Eccer's Avatar

    Eccer said:

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    Thanks Frankie, for always being thorough in your reviews! I guess was my approach to this was pure imagination and strangeness, and that's it basically. I wanted to explain a strange happening in a folklore'ish sense, but then I accidentally saw how I could turn this around and make it even more mysterious, by turning the phrases and create confusions. Can't say it worked out entirely, but that's why I needed you to look on it. But I believe experimenting is important to development, and pieces like this are important to do once in a while. Cuz you'll never know when suddenly, the next time you write and you got yourself a little masterpiece! hihi.

    And to those poems you mentioned, no! I haven't read them however, I've been reading some lovecraft (for the first time). Getting ready for halloween hehe Sorry for the late reply, but y'know... kids and hacking stuff...
     
  4. Frankie Jasmine's Avatar

    Frankie Jasmine said:

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    No problem, Eccer. Also, I am not done with "Where the Quarter Lit of Green." I wish to come back to it with a more open mind and concentration. If I "get" it better, then wonderful! If I don't, I will be honest. But this poem is worth the extra effort. Yes, I like very much that you are willing to experiment. My slowness does not imply that you failed at your efforts! As a matter of fact, I hope others who like English (British) poetry will read your poem and comment. Additionally, I will be honest about any word-pairings that--after thorough examination and contemplation--are poor pairings. However . . . I am not yet saying that!

    Interesting . . . lovecraft . . . for a dark celebration. Well, I don't care for Halloween, but we'll see what poems of interest you create next.

    I applaud the effort of this poem and will be back for more comments later!
    Last edited by Frankie Jasmine; 10-11-2013 at 09:59 PM.
     
  5. Eccer's Avatar

    Eccer said:

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    Ok, I changed the last stanza Frankie ""As every of nip grass I might as well tuck around a little bit more if anythings left, there'st I see," and others.)". So it should be less confusing now, and I think the monologue flows better now. So, I think i'm pretty much finished with this now! Thanks for all the help!