Something...

Distances (stupid words)

Empty night as my thoughts,
altough I lie. My thoughts led me to you,
Will they stop this...
Hush... !
Quiet words,
Today I'm not begging freedom.
I'm chained in this damn love.
I don't blame,
I'm not ashame,
only the Moon knows.

Another empty night,
My Moon today didn't come out.
I'm searching her,
I discover the sea.
My footsteps are easily erased,
water invades teritories, memories,
words, promisses and sights.

Fool...
Ah, such a fool...
But I hope I'll meet you one day,
or maybe someday you'll find the bottle
punished by me to give you my little piece of paper.
Waves will strike it harder and harder,
My faith will be so strong to believe in this madness ?

It'll be,
altough without you hours pass like months,
and months like...
Eternities.

ps: Let's say that I had an insomnia and my thoughts were blowing my head. I'm anxious to see your opinion. Really

It would be interesting to see how this would be sung. Because as I was reading this I was reading it as a dramatized speech.
Especially with the "Hush!"
I could just see someone on stage reciting this beautifully. It's quite vivid and I love the imagery throughout.
But it can always be better right? In your second paragraph the first two lines
"Another empty night,
My Moon today didn't come out."
They don't sit to well with me. You could consider something else, or just completely take it out. Leave the stanza a bit more vague, it would sound better I think.
But overall, for something that simple popped into your head at night, it's very nice.

Originally Posted by Stlawrenceriver

It would be interesting to see how this would be sung. Because as I was reading this I was reading it as a dramatized speech.
Especially with the "Hush!"
I could just see someone on stage reciting this beautifully. It's quite vivid and I love the imagery throughout.
But it can always be better right? In your second paragraph the first two lines
"Another empty night,
My Moon today didn't come out."
They don't sit to well with me. You could consider something else, or just completely take it out. Leave the stanza a bit more vague, it would sound better I think.
But overall, for something that simple popped into your head at night, it's very nice.

Hey, I'm glad my "little words" made smbd to put here its opinion. "Moon" is a symbol which connect to someone. And the pronn "my" means the distance, it's like a decision taken by another one and you must take it as it is.
Speech... I don't see it as a speech, more as a thought left somewhere in a bottle and "whispered" into the sea. And has no drama, just a sad air... I thought about some sheets, very calm, with a voice almost quiet As you said before, like reciting it.
Thank you
More criticism accpeted my friend. haha