6am

6 am and I’m up late again.
There is no one to blame but myself and these g*ddamn reoccurring suicidal thoughts.
Its 6:14 and the only thing I can think about is the wind outside. Raging, as if the purpose of its existence were to destroy everything that tried to get in its way.
I guess we have a lot in common.
It's 6:28 and I have a headache. This insomnia is making me paranoid that everything I have built around me will soon fall to its demise.
This wall of secrets that no one dare climb, for fear of what is on he other side... Trust me, its much safer to stay on this side.
It is 6:33 and there is silence.
The voices in my subconscious have taken a smoke break and left me to deal with this guilt all alone.
My first thought is drink it away.
Its 6:42 and I am hearing things again.
Forgive me if "I’m sorry" and "I love you" sound a lot like the same. It seems I have been conditioned to expect them in the same breath.
It is 6:51 and the sun is up. I guess that means I've been given another day to make amends. Anxiety is coursing through my veins and I cant breathe.
I think it might kill me this time.
6:59 is what the clock reads, and I decide that it is time to change. I am sick of these f*cking 6am nights, talking to myself as if it will solve the problems buried deep in my roots.
It is 7am, and I am putting the pen down.

You and I have a lot in common