The Stranger Inside

This is a song written originally as a poem and later had music put to it. It's all acoustic but has a very dark tone to it. (Drop C acoustics are my passions lately lol). It's about that little voice inside your head that batters you and eats at your fears. Pushing and pushing you down. And just when you get past it, it comes out of nowhere and can crush you. And it's then you find, that little voice, that 'stranger' is none other than yourself. Kind of a weird song, but I enjoyed writing. Help yourself to it and I hope you enjoy it and can offer some feedback as I will be sure to check out some of your stuff as well

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The Stranger Inside

There’s a stranger that lives inside
Harvesting all the fears I have in life
It controls me and makes me fall
Bends my will ‘til I break underneath it all

Digging deeper, it dwells within
Waiting to detonate inside again
Fading out now, I’ve gone numb
Caving in to the voice that has become

A self-inflicted genocide to my mind
Every thought I have it always finds
Broken down, my mind infected
Broken down, ‘cause the stranger wrecked it

I wish that others could see
The truth behind the worst part of me
All the pain that I hold inside
Locked away in the darkest parts of my mind

It lays there, waiting
To finally break free again
It can sense all my weaknesses
Created by the emptiness

And as I start to change
Blacking out from pin-pointed pain
But the feeling, has made me numb
Caving in to the voice that has become

A self-inflicted genocide to my mind
Every thought I have it always finds
Broken down, my mind infected
Broken down, ‘cause the stranger wrecked it

My mind is bent, the stranger took it from me
Lost in the dark again, I’m my own enemy
The war that’s in my head, I’m dying from within
Breaking down I am wrecked and I know I can’t win

I’m just a victim again
Because it’s just a…

A self-inflicted genocide to my mind
Every thought I have it always finds
Broken down, my mind infected
Broken down, ‘cause the stranger wrecked it

There’s a stranger that lives inside
Harvesting all the fears I have in life
It controls me and makes me fall
Bends my will ‘til I break underneath it all

The song's like a freight train, to me. It barrells along, as though it is taking your mind along with it. My favorite stanza:

It lays there, waiting
To finally break free again
It can sense all my weaknesses
Created by the emptiness.

Question: Does the end of stanza 2 go directly into the chorus to make a continuous thought/sentence?

Fading out now, I’ve gone numb
Caving in to the voice that has become

A self-inflicted genocide to my mind
Every thought I have it always finds
Broken down, my mind infected
Broken down, ‘cause the stranger wrecked it

This barrelling train, though, seems to run out of steam at the end. Is this how you want the end to be--that The Stranger Inside wears you down to a crawl? Or do you want there to be a final rush or final conflict or final big resolution? For me, that is what I'm missing in the end.

I like your song, the rhythm keeps going well most of the way through. . . . Somehow this isn't expressing all I like about it; nor the tweak here or there on a couple lines. Because I do like it, I am perhaps giving too much feedback.

Originally Posted by Frankie Jasmine

The song's like a freight train, to me. It barrells along, as though it is taking your mind along with it. My favorite stanza:

It lays there, waiting
To finally break free again
It can sense all my weaknesses
Created by the emptiness.

Question: Does the end of stanza 2 go directly into the chorus to make a continuous thought/sentence?

Fading out now, I’ve gone numb
Caving in to the voice that has become

A self-inflicted genocide to my mind
Every thought I have it always finds
Broken down, my mind infected
Broken down, ‘cause the stranger wrecked it

This barrelling train, though, seems to run out of steam at the end. Is this how you want the end to be--that The Stranger Inside wears you down to a crawl? Or do you want there to be a final rush or final conflict or final big resolution? For me, that is what I'm missing in the end.

I like your song, the rhythm keeps going well most of the way through. . . . Somehow this isn't expressing all I like about it; nor the tweak here or there on a couple lines. Because I do like it, I am perhaps giving too much feedback.

This is an AWESOME critique! Thank you for not just telling me you like it but what you like about it and even offering feedback. THAT'S what I came to this site for!

To answer your question, I like to picture the song never being resolved. The stranger is ALWAYS there, beginning to end. Always creeping, and always waiting. It may recede for awhile, but it will never leave. that's why the the last lines are:

There’s a stranger that lives inside
Harvesting all the fears I have in life
It controls me and makes me fall
Bends my will ‘til I break underneath it all

To show that the stranger is still there. waiting to strike again...



Also, the verse goes right into the chorus. There is a break for a short interlude between the first chorus and the second verse. Very brief, but suits the song well.

The rythmn is very 'in tune' with the music. It's broken down by syllable to follow along with the notes. The verses are all a dark, emotionally toned arpeggio, while that chorus is open chords and somewhat heavy. I really wish I could record this so I could further show what I mean. It's dark, but everyone I've played it for says it's a beautiful song in it's own right. And don't worry about too much feedback...I loved it. thanks again. And I'd have to agree with you, that stanza is my favorite one as well.

And I usually don't get so much back from the composer! Thank you for all the explanatory notes and a good, full response. That makes me want to come back to this song again . . . and to seek out some of your others when I am able! I really enjoyed your sharing, not only about the song but about your RL experience with it! This makes all the difference in the world--that you already have your own music to it and have performed it. It would be a pleasure to hear.

I defo get now why the end is "unresolved" . . . The unfinished, unsettled feeling I was left with--was intentional on your part!

Much success with this song!