Les Savy Fav – Adopduction lyrics

Kidnapped! I was kidnapped.
I dreamed I was kidnapped,
I dreamed I was kidnapped.
By a guy with a mustache
and a chick with an eyepatch
Who thought they could trade me back
for some quick cash
But when they relayed the bargain
my family said "We'll pay half that"

The haggling went on for days
the days went on for weeks
and weeks for years
Riding in the trunk was never fun
but soon I plum ran out of tears
They camped us in the woods
we cooked canned goods
they never threatened me with pain
They treated cops politely
driving nightly
always using coded names
so they stole me
I could trust them
dare I say it even love them
who's to blame?

I learned the alphabet
and letterset
by setting up
my latest ransom notes
They got me correspondence classes
gave me glasses
gave me drop cloths in the cold
My fondest memories
are from my hostage crisis
I know it's strange
Although we got so close you know
they never even told me their real names.