Stern Howard – At Seventeen lyrics

Seinfeld's girl is seventeen,
An innocent with double Ds
He saw those breasts and flipped his lid
For a real young busty high school kid
A horny lonely TV geek
Her major jugs made Jerry weak
Can't he find girls his age to date?
She's seventeen and she's jail bait

He takes her out in New York town
That lovely girl and the TV clown
She barely shed her training bra
She kisses lips for candy bars
Some nice guy you turned out to be
Did she sit upon your knee?
You shouldn't really grope for them
At seventeen

Will her panties smell like a rose?
Is Seinfeld just like Piscopo?
Seducing girls in a limousine
While his fans think that he's so damn clean

She fell for an old man from TV.
Did her pubic hair grow in last week?
With fresh and firm and round buttcheeks
At seventeen

Can't he find some older dame?
Do private parts all look the same?
Does he make her parents shout
When he puts his tongue in her mouth?

Does he think that he's a stud?
He should drown in a frigging flood
For fooling with a girl
Who's seventeen

Now, Jerry, I ask you, do you have a brain?
When you see her, do you make a stain?
Can't he get an older girl?
He's damn near old as Milton Berle

You're making such a spectacle
Thinking with your testicles
If you're gonna make some glue
You should date girls as old as you