Bill Oddie – The Auto Destructive Rag lyrics

Some like jazz, some like swing,
I don’t like anything,
Unless it’s got the feeling of tomorrow.
Make it wild, make it weird,
Preferably with a beard,
If it’s soft and sweet it went out long ago.
I like music pure and cold and hard
(Like it is)
I’m a member of the avant ga-ga-garde

So......
Play me a tune that has nothing to do with a melody.
Play me a tune that has nothing to do with a tune.
Give me a suite with no rhythm or beat
And no harmony.
Open the thing and dismember the strings with a spoon.

Take a good old-fashioned geetar and plug it in the mains,
Bash it, beat it, try to eat it, play me a suite with brain.
Oh....
Play it me soon and don’t bother to tune-up your instruments
Oh gimme, oh gimme that Auto Destructive Rag.

Give me a tune that has something to do with reality
Play me some bop by a Chicago cop with a stick
Ah ah – ohohoh!
Twentieth Century’s full of adventures and melody
I wanna dance to the sound of a man being sick.
Bwehh!

Bring it all back!

Everybody’s hummin’ a catchy twelve-tone song,
No bars, no key, absolutely free, come on.
Sing along.

[imitates operatic soprano]
oh Oh oh.
Ohoh oh.
Oh oh oh Oh oh.
Oh.
Come on, you’re not singing.

Ohhhh
Don’t you like doin’ that,
Come on an’ ruin that melody!
Oh gimme, oh gimme that Auto Destructive Rag.

[over break]
Oh, that’s terrible.
Oh they’re playing our tune!

The sounds are all around us
It’s the music of today [Ahh!]
Scratch it, scrape it, wreck it, rape it
Everybody can play!

[Break]

Ah...
Oh...
Play me a tune that has nothing to do with a melody.
Oh gimme, oh gimme that Auto Destructive ...
Gimme, oh gimme that Auto Destructive ...
Gimme! Gimme that Auto Destructive Raaaaaaaag.
Da da daa dada dah...