Prison Cell (12/29/14)

Locked in this prison, these 4 walls my hell,
Clawing at the sheets, questioning myself.
I must escape, get me out of this mess,
I’ll do what it takes, except confess.

The words you were yet to speak
Were muted by doubts within.
You never gave me the chance,
No, you never let me in.
Now I’m locked away in this prison cell,
Reminiscing what we should have been.

My crime was not loving you enough,
And though I’ll never say it aloud,
I wish I could take back every ****ing second,
Every minute, and every single hour.

If I said I wish we never met,
Could I take it all back?
Get out of this hell,
And get my life back on track?

The words you were yet to speak
Were muted by doubts within.
You never gave me the chance,
No, you never let me in.
Now I’m locked away in this prison cell,
Reminiscing what we should have been.

This is me giving up, letting go, moving on,
You missed your chance to make it right,
It’s time to move along.

I don’t care about the words you didn’t speak,
They were just voices in your head.
You never gave me the chance,
To be anywhere but in your bed.
I’m letting myself out of this prison cell,
And trapping you instead.

You really delved into the psyche of this prisoner.

I like the turnaround at the end.

Thank you both!

+Good Context.
Good Vocab.
Basically, I think that you had done very well. But I couldn't really grasp the background story. I wanted to but couldn't find the background.
What I am saying is that I understand the feelings, emotions, and the regret this character feels to what he felt in the past.
Good Intro. I could understand and visualise it.
Conclusion also expresses greater anger than the body context. That was good, a turnaround as Corinne said.
Maybe you could fix it up by adding another verse or two describing the situation, focused not just on regret but also at describing the situation and look back. Not rethinking but looking back.

Good though, if this is your first draft, I would say it is excellent. If it is your second draft, I would say it was excellent as well. If it is your third draft, I would say it was excellent as well. If it is your...(and so on)

I like it. All that regret and hate.

Just wanted to add my own thoughts.-

This is really good Kerri Faye and it sings. To me it's all about communication....the most important kind of communication that was never there. And so your payback is to deny him not just what he never gave you but also to make the point of denying him everything that he may still want from you.....because they always still want even if they never give.

Tech.B. i just think that sometimes 'too much' background may spoil a good thing

+I see....-

You guys are awesome.
I can see both sides of where you're coming from. Maybe I'll go back and add a verse to hint at a bit of background without giving too much away, that sounds like a fair compromise.
Thank you, sincerely, for the feedback.

Now this is a great lyric.My only change is ...........I'd drop the word "anything"from the 4th line.Its unnecessary and screws up the rhythm.Just my opinion,but hey......it's Doug!