Autumn Breeze

Thread: Autumn Breeze

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  1. bearheart said:

    Default Autumn Breeze

    Autumn Breeze

    My mind drifts to a better place
    With nothing to fear or nothing to hide
    Until I see your face & I start to shake
    Your not the same man that my mother loved
    She had the beauty of a dove with a heart of gold
    Smile of an angel with the brightest soul
    On the day she died everybody cried
    Except for my father who had nothing left

    Autumn breeze sweep me away
    Take me back to those happy days
    Where I’m reminded where my heart remains
    Too bad nothing stays the same
    But we have the power to change our ways

    He set us aside to babysit the bottle
    Pushed us around down to the bottom
    God give me strength to beat this pain
    Today I stand my ground
    Dig in my feet & look inside
    Where I know my heart will survive
    Now it's time that I came alive

    Autumn breeze sweep me away
    Take me back to those happy days
    Where I’m reminded where my heart remains
    Too bad nothing stays the same
    But we have the power to change our ways
     
  2. +Technist Barrier-'s Avatar

    +Technist Barrier- said:

    Default

    +I see your structure:
    Verse 1
    Chorus
    Verse 2
    Chorus

    not bad but try putting an ending at the end... unless you have something up with endings.
    I actually like your lyrics as they aren't always about the love life stuff but about the struggles, problems, solutions, etc of life.-
    +To imagine is everything, to know is nothing at all.>A.France
    Oh yeah, I forgot, and always expect the unexpected. -
     
  3. bearheart said:

    Default

    Thank you so much for all the feedback & support. I completely agree I need to work on my linear structure. The new lyrics I'm working on I think you will be very pleased with.
     
  4. +Technist Barrier-'s Avatar

    +Technist Barrier- said:

    Default

    +Oh come on, it's nothing really. Who doesn't like feedback?-
    +To imagine is everything, to know is nothing at all.>A.France
    Oh yeah, I forgot, and always expect the unexpected. -