A Blank Page Of Memories! (please give opinions)

COMMENTS/VIEWS WOULD BE REALLY APPRECIATED


I sit here on my own,
A blank page and memories,
A number on this phone,
And no more enemies,

I walk these streets alone,
See them shine under the floodlights,
The hearts I broke back home,
Will come back to haunt me tonight,

I hear the engine starting,
I feel your breath around me,
I feel my heart departing,
I know your eyes surround me,
I drive until I die,
I end up at this beachside,
The ocean now becomes my lie,
My emotions become the tide,
The knife is in my right,
The wrist in tact left side,
The blood tries with all its might,
To let loose of these veins tonight,

I clench my fist and shout,
It shouldn’t come to this,
I need to let it out,
I long for your one last kiss,
I look up at the sky,
Its eyebrows frown upon me,
It started as a lie,
And finished in this marquee,
My eyes look straight ahead,
A view of land is wasted,
This beauty looks dark red,
The colour of the blood I tasted,
And every rock and mountain,
Reminds me of that girl,
Her reflection in that fountain,
When the wind began to swirl,
And the colour in her fair skin,
The way her hair fell down,
Her Beauty it shone within,
But she never took the crown,

I’ve said goodnight to every star,
I’m not alone inside my head,
Spelt konstantine with every K.
Listened to that song in bed.


I somehow broke the silence,
But paid for it with these lips untouched,
We stopped the fights violence,
But in the end it didn’t matter much.

I see these blue disks spinning,
The CD player random skips,
If losing means not winning,
Then your arms shouldn’t mean his hips.

I see you standing in the bus stop,
His arms wrapped tightly round your waist,
The only way for this to stop,
Is to erase the times I saw your face.

I’ll always somehow love you,
It’s something I can’t choose?
This matter’s way above you,
If I have to then I’ll lose,

I knew that rose was lying,
Its petals can deceive,
She loves me not, she loves me,
Were the words it made me believe,
I wish that arrow didn’t strike me,
That flew through my chest and stuck,
Unwelcome yet invited,
Just a judgement of bad luck.
The backstairs to the back room,
The front stairs to the front,
The shadow car you pulled up in,
With memories so blunt.
I thought you’d come back to see me,
I’ve seen you smiling there before,
You kept on walking right straight past me,
Into the arms of him next door.

Wow this is really good! it's such a powerful, moving strong piece, filled with such emotion! I do feel that some of the lines don't quite flow as well as the rest, but otherwise it is very well written, very expressive and vivid, you feel the emotion yourself while reading it, you can almost believe you're the person in it! I think it's really good, I like it.

It's ok.... seems to me to be done acousticlly